Girls night out, Friends night in.

The other night I watched Boston Legal, and a guy on it said: "Friendships are a little like backyard gardens, we plan to tend to them, we just always seem to put it off until next week." That is sadly all too true.

I was sitting here feeling quite pompous and confident in my 'friend skills', but then I realized...I cannot be.

I will not speak of any particular evils I may have committed (and in truth I do not have as many in this respect to speak of as many do, sorry for the arrogance but I feel it) Rather, here I will speak of more general things.

Most of my greatest and fulfilling friendships have been with other girls. So I shall tend to speak more towards that end. Boys, don't cry--you typically muff things up in the first few months with your hormones, ego, and/or just plane insanity (not all mind you--I know a few great ones)
Anyways...friends.

How many times has a friend really needed you and you were not there? You may not even know the answer to this? I don't. My friends sure as hell don't. Sometimes, most times really, this friend needs you in the simplest and subtlest of ways. This is not referring to the cases of her dogs death, a breakup, or God forbid worse. Let's talk about the everyday possible feelings of torture we humans like to call the humdrum of regular life.

I know from experience that someone whom you think you know quite well can be in sheer agony and loneliness and not say a thing. But as a friend, is it not our job to see past the often pathetic attempt at a happy facade? Maybe this friend wanted to hang out and you were not available, Fine, happens to all and cannot be helped. Maybe you did not feel like giving them a call back when you said you would. Okay, we all have, shit happens, life happens. But maybe that friend feels too lost in this guise of contentment and feels scared to seem clingy or whiney through showing her honesty.

I guess another thing that reminded me of this is the new, wait for it, Sex and the City movie. Countless twenty-something girls are flocking in heels or elegant flats to theaters before toasting cosmo's in the nearest lounge/bar. But I know many of these girls...and it is so far from the truth it almost makes me cry more instead of cynically laugh. (Or back cackle.)

I, myself, happen to have that awesome bond with some wonderful women. I will spare you who is the token 'Carrie' or 'Miranda'. Really, life is more complicated than a Darren Star novel adaptation, and really no one cares. These friends of mine are almost like characters out of a well crafted chick lit novel, in fact I doubt I could have written better ones, and I challenge even Helen Fielding of Sophie Kinsella to do so. They are, and it is cheesy and girly to say in this way, my life. Along with my immediate family who I am blessed to be close to, they keep me sane, here me out, like who I am more than I do, and love me--all the while driving me crazy. But that bond is not only something one can pick up from time to time like a sad attempt at fine tuning one's French or doing pilates. This bond HAS to be maintained like the aforementioned proverbial garden. So sadly, when I see many girls heading to the theatre in herds I think the condescending: "aw" that I so hate to hear. They are clinking their martini glasses and they are calling each 'hunny' and 'lady love' but really it tends to end there quite often.

This is not just a problem with girly girls who read cosmo or go shopping for therapy. This is the case for so many people. And then we all wonder on our off days why we are so lonely.

At least when I am being all emo and self indulgent I can objectively say. They annoyed me, they did or did not do this, but they are here for me in a way I wish everyone could have a chance to experience.

Please just realize that the expression 'life is short' does not just exist to encourage us to ask someone out or skydive. It exists to tell us that life although maybe short and often tragic, can be filled with amazing love. Don't wait for a Sex and the City Movie night to let your friends (whether old or new, best or buddy) know that you are here, there, and anywhere they may need you to be.

I realize I sounded as if I was bashing the above girliness and TV bonds, but I am not. Quite the contrary: what I see in that show and in Boston Legal today (Denny and Alan, after all, are the best bromance ever!) is the realization that "A friend", like Ralf Waldo Emerson said, "may well be reckoned a masterpiece of nature. "

Nothing to say?

I have not written in a long time. Probably because I have been lazy. There are of course some things that have come up in my head and I thought, “Hey that may be something I want to write about.” But alas they are for other ‘blogs’ (how I loathe the phonetics in that word) One is in the Christian realm of thinking…although this web page title is more than fitting for Christianity---it being a comedy (an upward happy ending U) with many tragic elements and all. But I think I like to keep theology and less than C.S Lewis caliber ramblings separate from the page I rant about stupidity and nonsense on.

Also, I thought about TV. I always have so much to say after watching one of my MANY shows. I should be a TV columnist and get paid to watch it dammit! But really, I am still debating putting that sort of commentary on here as well.

Any thoughts?

So I guess for today’s rant or whatever I will talk about….um…..

A VERY special day....

I think its okay to be a little self-indulgent on one's birthday. Right? I mean in our society we were raised to celebrate this day as ‘our’ day. What with parents running to toy stores since the very beginning, theme birthday parties and gift (or goody) bags for every kid we wanted or felt obligated to invite. Even cakes to suit our fav and very fickle obsessions of the time, or even (and more creepily) cakes adorned with our own picture were used to encourage us to see how very special we are. I remember having a ballet stage cake, a castle (my mom made on her own-which was awesome), the yummy cheesecakes my parents make for me every year now, and even last years cake from my bestest friends and family that featured an early years picture of Jason Priestly from 90210. It was an inside joke on age 22---erm…never mind.

In old country, as my Baba often says, it was customary to take other people out on ones birthday. My Korean students (more so: overseas businessmen in the process of learning English) tell me the same thing, that—and they like to get drunk on ‘their’ day. But I think I like the way we, over here, support the creation of pseudo-narcissists by having it truly be ‘their day’ Of course, that also leads many a children and even older people to scream out the cliché, ‘It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.’ And why not, after all, that also seems to be a part of ‘feeling special.’ With so much hype our birthdays are bound to disappoint us at some point—at an exponential rate the older we get, no doubt. Whether it is when an annoying little girl tattletales on you saying shut up to her while you are all bowling, or when your friends are late for the time they made the reservation, or just if the freaking weather gets all emo and rainy on you (like today!) it will happen.

So back to the self obsession aspect of this day. The very origins of these sorts of celebrations is said to date back to ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome, and Persia—where they celebrated the anniversaries of the births of ‘gods,’ kings, and nobles. This in itself surmises the very essence of a “birthday.” We are making ourselves above others for at least one day a year; a day in which we are the nobles, the little princess, and the one who receives gifts, cake, and best regards. ATTENTION, essentially! A type of extreme attention that we are not accustomed to asking for in our world that is obsessed with a false sense of frenzied importance, phoney modesty, and fervent self deprecation.

So once a year, let’s be annoying and listen to songs like “She’s so high”, by Tal Bachman and pretend we are the center of at least the little part of the world we inhabit. I mean, not that I do, but if I did….it would not be my fault. Blame the ancients.

Happy Birthday to ME. :D

Them kids....and me.

I am just ranting. Mostly so I can get used to not being in a summer slump and forgetting how to type.
There is little to no editing.
Meh.

I was sitting and listening to ‘Them kids’ by Sam Roberts and scrolled down on Youtube to read a few of the comments under the video. One said, “He’s comparing what life was like back in the day compared to know. The 'family' was wholesome - and now it’s like, the girl texts, the boy plays guitar hero instead of a guitar, just how life has kind of taken a nosedive.”

I think that is maybe part of it but it got me thinking—always dangerous yes I know. But what really has changed? It seems all a little arrogant to presume that I would have any idea what has changed considering I am merely on the verge of turning 23. Goodness knows that I hate when giddy first years try to tell me anything about life, the same way any ‘real’ grown up would hate to hear my views on relationships, family, work, and life in general. But in my own, thus far short, (and just getting started) life it seems that even I can point out some things that have gone by the way side.

I would like to start with cartoons and family friendly television. Oh sure, there is a lot of family channel and tree house programming out there, a hell of a lot more than when anyone of our underachieving generation was little. But it’s all changed. I was up late with my brother last night just talking and flicking channels when I came across Boy Meets World. Oh course, I ignored his initial protests and selected Family West for my viewing please. I do love getting all nostalgic after all. But as we watched and laughed at the no-drinking-after-school-special type message featuring a plethora of that nauseating soundtrack to the 90’s—you know that sound commonly heard on Full House; a set of strings and keys to signify a deep moment was occurring—it also hit me. So what? So what if there was some cheese…at least it was showing something..well, worth showing. For one the whole episode really focussed on Cory and Sean’s awesome friendship (if you are one of the douchebags who thinks that Frodo and Sam were homoerotic than you can piss off around here.) Basically the self deprecating, pseudo-orphan punk Sean was trying to take the blame for what was Cory’s (as he called him: Teenage America) fault. At one moment, while Cory was drunkenly bemoaning over his break up with Tapanga he professed how maybe Sean was the one he could not live without. Now again, shut up insecure males…they are just friends!

Now I will try to get to my point and not just summarize Boy Meets World…although I know you all find it riveting. My point, though not so eloquently articulated due to too shoddy to no punctuation, too much pasta, and not enough sunlight, is when have you seen a touching display of the bonds of friendship in today’s shows like Hannah Montana or one of those other scary pop start fetish shows that them kids are now watching. I admit I try to stay away from them like they carried the ebola virus, but even the few times I have come across them while babysitting all I have seen is a world forged by slapstick jokes (not exactly Buster Keaton calibre either), pop songs, too much make up, and little to NO substance.

And the cartoons…

Remember Recess, Hey Arnold, the forgotten PepperAnn, even the Weekenders. Yeah there was often a moral of the story, and sometimes just dumb humour but all that my little cousins and the like watch now are shows that incessantly try to dumb down the population. I know this is slightly less than revelatory—this ‘dumbing down of America, and consequently the world. But really it just too true to not mention form time to time. Treehouse. Argh. There should be a restriction on shows like Cailou and Dora the Explorer for kids over a certain age. I mean none of my friends in kindergarten EVER spoke in that now prevalent babyish and ear piercing voice.

We used to watch shows like that at two and then gradually move to older cartoons before being thrust into the adult mainstream. Although I watched 90210 at five, but then again this is not supposed to be a testament to how freaking special I am (though I may one day comment on that :P) However, now it is Dora and then carving up cadavers on CSI. And if these stunted kids from ages 8-14 are really lucky, they get into pop star idol worship in the form of Miley freaking Cyrus. The day the music died.

What fun children, what fun.

So maybe we think that kids should be taught not to drink and drive (google the name Jacqui Saborido for frack sakes) and maybe they should value being kids while still maintaining some living brain cells. Maybe, just maybe, they should know and see examples of devoted families and friends and not just sniff around rancid creepy fluff.

But I guess that is not the style. I guess that what was good for others no longer works. I guess I should not speak out in this cliché way and sound like an old lady. A ripe old lady at barely 23.

A finishing quote from the song that inspired my rant. “We're under pressure to reconcile our point of view with contemporary style.” I think that is true. But that actually relates more to what I wanted to say about politics….which is……..erm….maybe later.